Majorities
of the Maher weddings are arranged by family and friends, very similar
to that other Hindu arranged marriages around the world.
There are several stages in an arranging a marriage,
firstly it is always the groom's parents or close relatives who
seeks out a suitable bride to be and it's never the bride goes out
looking for husband!
The average age for guy to get married is 21 marriage
and for girl is 19, however these figures varies from region to
region and depending upon the circumstances.
When the time comes, a member of the family or
close friend would suggest few suitable brides to be, that would
fit in with family, which is very important, as they would have
live and work together for rest of their live. They would point
out the girl(s), at wedding or at Navratri festival or at a mutual
friends house.
If the guy likes the girl then the family would
make approach by going to her house, accompanied by a mutual friend
or relative, this is another chance for the guy to have a good look!
And girls to see him maybe for the first time. After some tea/ coffee
and general chitchat they eventually get to the point! The guy would
have answer several question on all matter of live, although mainly
about his work and education. Then the guy would have a chance to
ask the girl (bride to be) anything question he feels needs answers
to!
Both families concerned would then have several
days to think about and do a thorough background research about
each other's history. Whatever the outcome, then they would let
the other family know by telling a mutual friend or relative, remember
the answer is not always pleasant, if so then it's back to beginning
and try again somewhere else!
If everything goes fine then another formal visit
to the girl's house is arranged, this time accompanied by more relatives,
usually the elders and the relationship is verbally confirmed.
Some time later, on an auspicious day, set
by the priest (gor), both families meet again at the girl's house,
only the close relatives and friends are invited for be rupia ceremony.
In this ceremony be rupia (2 rupee coins) are handed to the girls
father or guardian as a token that they have accepted their daughter
as their daughter- in-law. Of course lots of good food and drink
for everyone to enjoy.
Sagai is held on another auspicious day,
determine by the Brahmin priest. This is very special day (second
to wedding day), quite a lot of family members and friends gather
to officially announce the relationship.
Four or five men from each side of the family
sit opposite each other and feed each other gor (caramel - sugar
cane) - this is to symbolise that their new relationship will hopefully
remain as sweet as gor.
After that the guy and the girl would sit on decorated
armchairs in front of the rest the family members. They are given
gifts, presents (money) and blessings, After some traditional Gujarati
food and sweets, a dandia raas may take place or singers would sing
popular Hindi songs.
Wedding is arranged on an auspicious day,
(of course the hall booking has to be taken in consideration by
the priest, this applies mainly to outside India!). Once the date
and the venue are confirmed, invitation cards (Kankotris) are sent
out to all the relatives and friends.
The wedding mainly consists of three days,
firstly the Sanji, second Ganesh puja and Mandap ropan (at the groom's
house) and Mehndi at the bride's place.
|